Or, The Better Way to Break the Ice

If you had a superpower, what would it be? What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? If you could be a color, which would you choose? Ketchup or mustard on your hot dogs? Tell us three things about yourself, two which are true and one which is not, and we’ll guess which is which. 

These are classic icebreaker activities: go around the room, answer the question, and hope people laugh while learning people’s names. The cute question is meant to make the activity bearable, while everyone gets a chance to say their names. Very often, most of the answers will be dull and boring, leading to a monotonous ‘icebreaker’ that’s more awkward than fun. 

The goal of an icebreaker is to, quite literally, break the ice. You have a bunch of people in a room together who don’t know each other. That’s uncomfortable. As long as it’s uncomfortable, they won’t really be able to start getting to know each other. Therefore, your goal is to provide a structure for the group to interact in a way which is natural, unforced, and NOT awkward. Here are 5 of the top icebreaker misconceptions: 

1. The point of an icebreaker is to learn people’s names.

When was the last time you remembered 20 names after hearing them just one time? Exactly.

Many think that the goal of an icebreaker is for people to say their names so that the rest of the group can start learning them. Most of the time, going around a circle answering a silly (or serious) question and providing your name won’t accomplish that. Instead, think of an icebreaker as an opportunity for people to get comfortable interacting with each other. Set up an activity where a group needs to work together to succeed. Names will come naturally as they start discussing solutions, dealing with problems, and eventually succeeding together. All you need to do is provide the structure and a relaxed environment; the rest happens by itself. 

2. The funnier the question, the better. 

No matter what question you ask, you’ll always be playing to one personality type: the confident guy comfortable making himself the center of attention who’ll be fine providing a funny answer. Often, a majority of the group won’t fit this description. In that case, the overall feel will be awkward with a couple of funny parts. A facilitator might be able to help if he’s a big personality, but often won’t be able to totally save it. 

When using a group game or activity, where the group is working together to solve a problem or puzzle, every personality type has a chance to shine. Leaders mobilize the group; brainy types think up solutions; creative personalities suggest new perspectives; athletes contribute their skills to implement the solution. Everyone gets the chance to present themselves to the group, not just the people who love the limelight. 

3. Only use an icebreaker when nobody knows each other.

The point of an icebreaker is to facilitate a group coming together. That means that even if just a couple members of the group are new, the group will benefit from an icebreaker. Done right, the new members will start getting comfortable in the group while the old members will start getting to know the new people. The whole time, everyone’s having fun and working towards succeeding at whatever challenge you set for them, leading to positive vibes for the new group. 

4. Only loud extroverts can successfully run icebreakers.

If you’re looking at the goal as getting people laughing while hearing names or personal information about everyone in the group, you’re right – it’ll be hard for someone more reserved to successfully run that type of icebreaker. However, someone on the quieter side can be very successful in setting up an activity for a group to work on together. Facilitating that is much easier for an introvert, and the group has the chance to get comfortable with each other through the shared experience of the game.

5. Icebreakers need to lead into/be related to the ‘actual’ activity.

This one comes from not appreciating icebreakers for their own merits. The more you invest in your group getting comfortable with each other and sharing successes together, the better any future activity or event you do with them will be. It is productive to run an icebreaker as the sole activity of a program, assuming you debrief it well. This way, the participants will recognize that they didn’t just ‘waste their time’ with a fun game for half an hour, but instead accomplished something significant (the content changes based on what happened and how you choose to debrief). Even if you are running another activity after the icebreaker that relies on the group having started to already come together, the icebreaker doesn’t need to lead into that. For example, you might be planning on leading a group discussion about free will in Judaism. Your gut for the icebreaker might be, go around the circle and have everyone share a time they felt they were being controlled rather than getting to exercise their own free will. That could work (but might not-see above), but is definitely not the only choice for warming up the group. A fun group challenge will also warm up the group, facilitating a great conversation. In fact, you may even be able to lead the debrief from the game into your discussion of choice! If it fits, you have a much more natural conversation than what you would have had in the first example. 

Over the next few weeks, we’ll be posting examples of this NEW type of icebreakers-group games where everyone works together to succeed. Stay tuned!