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There’s More to Icebreakers Than Superpowers and Ice Cream Flavors

December 13, 2018/in Yagilu Blog /by Tzvi Goldstein

Or, The Better Way to Break the Ice

If you had a superpower, what would it be? What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? If you could be a color, which would you choose? Ketchup or mustard on your hot dogs? Tell us three things about yourself, two which are true and one which is not, and we’ll guess which is which.

These are classic icebreaker activities: go around the room, answer the question, and hope people laugh while learning people’s names. The cute question is meant to make the activity bearable, while everyone gets a chance to say their names. Very often, most of the answers will be dull and boring, leading to a monotonous ‘icebreaker’ that’s more awkward than fun.

The goal of an icebreaker is to, quite literally, break the ice. You have a bunch of people in a room together who don’t know each other. That’s uncomfortable. As long as it’s uncomfortable, they won’t really be able to start getting to know each other. Therefore, your goal is to provide a structure for the group to interact in a way which is natural, unforced, and NOT awkward. Here are 5 of the top icebreaker misconceptions:

1. The point of an icebreaker is to learn people’s names.

When was the last time you remembered 20 names after hearing them just one time? Exactly.

Many think that the goal of an icebreaker is for people to say their names so that the rest of the group can start learning them. Most of the time, going around a circle answering a silly (or serious) question and providing your name won’t accomplish that. Instead, think of an icebreaker as an opportunity for people to get comfortable interacting with each other. Set up an activity where a group needs to work together to succeed. Names will come naturally as they start discussing solutions, dealing with problems, and eventually succeeding together. All you need to do is provide the structure and a relaxed environment; the rest happens by itself.

2. The funnier the question, the better.

No matter what question you ask, you’ll always be playing to one personality type: the confident guy comfortable making himself the center of attention who’ll be fine providing a funny answer. Often, a majority of the group won’t fit this description. In that case, the overall feel will be awkward with a couple of funny parts. A facilitator might be able to help if he’s a big personality, but often won’t be able to totally save it.

When using a group game or activity, where the group is working together to solve a problem or puzzle, every personality type has a chance to shine. Leaders mobilize the group; brainy types think up solutions; creative personalities suggest new perspectives; athletes contribute their skills to implement the solution. Everyone gets the chance to present themselves to the group, not just the people who love the limelight.

3. Only use an icebreaker when nobody knows each other.

The point of an icebreaker is to facilitate a group coming together. That means that even if just a couple members of the group are new, the group will benefit from an icebreaker. Done right, the new members will start getting comfortable in the group while the old members will start getting to know the new people. The whole time, everyone’s having fun and working towards succeeding at whatever challenge you set for them, leading to positive vibes for the new group.

4. Only loud extroverts can successfully run icebreakers.

If you’re looking at the goal as getting people laughing while hearing names or personal information about everyone in the group, you’re right – it’ll be hard for someone more reserved to successfully run that type of icebreaker. However, someone on the quieter side can be very successful in setting up an activity for a group to work on together. Facilitating that is much easier for an introvert, and the group has the chance to get comfortable with each other through the shared experience of the game.

5. Icebreakers need to lead into/be related to the ‘actual’ activity.

This one comes from not appreciating icebreakers for their own merits. The more you invest in your group getting comfortable with each other and sharing successes together, the better any future activity or event you do with them will be. It is productive to run an icebreaker as the sole activity of a program, assuming you debrief it well. This way, the participants will recognize that they didn’t just ‘waste their time’ with a fun game for half an hour, but instead accomplished something significant (the content changes based on what happened and how you choose to debrief). Even if you are running another activity after the icebreaker that relies on the group having started to already come together, the icebreaker doesn’t need to lead into that. For example, you might be planning on leading a group discussion about free will in Judaism. Your gut for the icebreaker might be, go around the circle and have everyone share a time they felt they were being controlled rather than getting to exercise their own free will. That could work (but might not-see above), but is definitely not the only choice for warming up the group. A fun group challenge will also warm up the group, facilitating a great conversation. In fact, you may even be able to lead the debrief from the game into your discussion of choice! If it fits, you have a much more natural conversation than what you would have had in the first example.

Over the next few weeks, we’ll be posting examples of this NEW type of icebreakers-group games where everyone works together to succeed. Stay tuned!

The Most Important Part of Every Event, Part 2

December 2, 2018/in Teambuilding, Yagilu Blog /by Tzvi Goldstein

This is the second part of our post on leading a productive and successful debrief. You can find Part 1 here.

Debrief Stage 2: So What?

After warming up the group and jogging their memories with the What stage, you transition to the So What stage. Basically, you’re asking, “What was significant about some part of the event that we just experienced together?” As the group leader, you should have chosen something you wanted to guide the discussion towards while you were facilitating the program. Have that ready, but also be open to what the group feels was the lesson learned from the event. When you’re ready to move into this stage, you can often refer back to the person in Stage 1 (What) who described the part you want to focus on. Ask him to provide some more details or what he thought was significant about that stage. Another idea is to ask a big-picture question about the idea you want to focus on. This stage takes a deeper level of thought. Participants are thinking abstractly about the problems they encountered, how they dealt with them, and if there were better or more effective ways to have responded.

For example, we often start our programs with a game called Speedball (we’ll be posting a full rundown of the game soon!). In order to succeed at Speedball, participants need to suggest different ways to adapt their approach and reach the goal faster each time. We use that to discuss the role that every single person can play in succeeding, even if their idea wasn’t the last one to be used. When debriefing, you can ask: Who suggested an idea that led to succeeding at Speedball? While people will often point to the last person to suggest an idea, you can push them to realize that every person who suggested something, whether it was an original idea, a critique of another suggestion, or an adaptation of an existing strategy, was needed for the group to succeed.

Positive Feedback

Remember to give positive feedback to those who contribute to the discussion. This is effectively done by restating their ideas to the group and getting their confirmation that you understood and appreciated what they had to say. You may not agree with a statement a participant makes, or feel it will detract from the point you’re trying to make. If you’re confident that the rest of the group agrees with you, ask a respected member of the group how he feels; most of the time, he’ll back you up. Just be careful; if they take the other side, it can detract from the power of your message. However, the beauty of these discussions is that people can express their own opinions and differ from you. If you are confident in your message, it will stand on its merits. Your message will be even stronger if you allow people to disagree with you.

Stage 3: Now What?

After processing the event itself, you are ready to move on to the third stage: Now What? Here, you take the lesson and ask the group how they would apply it to situations that might come up in the future. Ask them to describe a scenario where the idea they just discussed could come in handy. For the Speedball example described above, I’d ask for someone to describe a project where multiple voices could help find a creative solution. This type of open-ended question allows for some interesting answers, and drives home the lesson learned from the game you just played.

When you’re ready, you can wrap up the discussion by restating the idea you discussed. It is powerful for you to say, “What I’m hearing from you is..” This way, you’re not TELLING them YOUR ideas, trying to make them learn lessons from you – they don’t necessarily care about what you have to say! Instead, you’re listening to them and restating THEIR experiences and thoughts, which they care about much more. Going forwards, you can reference the game in other discussions and the group will understand that you’re talking about the lesson you just discussed during the debrief.

Now you know the secret of the debrief. Using this 3-part method, you’re going to help the groups you lead isolate lessons from the things you experience with them and figure out how to apply them to real life. Practice makes perfect, so give it a shot at your next event!

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The Most Important Part of Every Event, Part 1

November 26, 2018/in Teambuilding, Yagilu Blog /by Tzvi Goldstein

Do you run incredible programs, get rave reviews, and make sure everyone has an awesome time? Of course you do. But if you’re looking for your group games, activities, and events to have long-term impact, you NEED to debrief after the event. What is a debrief, why are they so important, and how can you run one in 3 easy steps?

Debriefing

A debrief usually takes the form of a group conversation, led by the group leader, after an event or experience. In camp, we debrief after group

initiatives, big accomplishments like First Fires, Shelter Night, and the Forest Feast, and our hikes, as well as smaller debriefs at the end of each day. Youth group leaders, such as NCSY advisors or City/Regional Directors, can use debriefs after a Shabbaton active learning program, ChaBo/ReBo events, or as a staff after a Regional Shabbaton. Teachers can debrief after experiential education programs or after completing big projects. Parents can debrief vacations, important family milestones, or unusual events. The goal of a debrief is to help process an experience in a way which sticks with the participants. By discussing what happened as a group and pointing out highlights at each stage outlined below, each participant has the opportunity to frame what happened in a positive way and recognize a takeaway for the future.

A debrief has 3 parts: What, So What, and Now What.

Stage 1: What?

In the What stage, the group leader encourages participants to share their perspective on the activity or event. You’re asking, very simply, what happened? You can engage multiple participants by starting from the beginning of the process and going step by step. For example, picture a game where the group tried one solution, failed and began to get frustrated, discovered another method, which led to the solution which ended up working successfully. At each point, you can ask for a new person to get involved in recalling what happened. At each stage, ask them to describe the situation – how they were feeling, what they were thinking, or how they felt the group was doing. This stage is most often skipped in group discussions, because it seems so unnecessary. “We just did this, why do we need to talk about what we just did?!” is a question you will probably hear often. By starting with the What stage, you:

Remind everyone of the steps needed to get to the end goal, rather than only remembering the final solution
Encourage people to contribute to the discussion with easy ‘softball’ questions
Demonstrate that people who contribute receive positive reinforcement from you and the group

Once you start asking the more difficult, nuanced questions in the next two stages, people will be more willing to speak up. You’ve already set the tone of the group discussion as a place where people talk and get good feedback for contributing. Next up, Stage 2: So What?!

Part 2 can be found here! If you want to make sure you don’t miss it, or generally like our posts and don’t want to miss any, subscribe to our email list-posts will be sent directly to your inbox!